Shadow Court

Here Ye, Here Ye! Court is now in session. Only the truth and nothing but the truth will be upheld in Shadow Court…

Shadow Court?

Everyone has a shadow side, that part of themselves that they don’t like or feel shameful about. Our shadows are made up of those emotions and actions that are considered unacceptable by our own judgment, whether influenced by our family or friends or society in general.

Some of these shadow selves are misjudged or misunderstood.

“Will speaking up please step forward? You there, what do you have to say for yourself? Nothing?” Speaking’s face burns as she mumbles something in the bailiff’s ear, eyes turned down. The bailiff says to the judge, “Speaking up is pushy and rude…not ladylike. She's been punished for it in the past.”

Ahhh…magic words, “in the past.” It’s amazing how much the past plays out in Shadow Court. When I go to Shadow Court (aka examining aspects of myself that cause me discomfort) I have to ask, is what I’m looking at REALLY what I’m looking at? Is this truly a villain? How long ago was this “definition” of the offending shadow aspect set? Does this definition serve me now? If it does then what’s a better way of demonstrating it?

Maybe there’s a bit of both good and bad here. For instance, speaking up can be aggressive or it can be assertive. What does it look like when it’s aggressive? What should it look like? How can it align with and support my values? How will I know I’m crossing the line?

The cross-examination continues...

The courtroom is packed tonight. I see arrogance sitting next to defensive, and insecure is waiting by the door. Interrupting keeps talking over conflict avoidance in the second row. Selfish and thoughtless don’t even realize the other is in attendance while judgment looks around with accusing eyes. Unmotivated laziness just said screw it and stayed home.

The docket is full, and tThe courtroom drama is thick tonight.

Lord, help me perceive what is real and what is not. Where shadows exist let me shine light so that all illusions are taken away. I want to grow in spirit and oneness.

Majeeda Rosa

Loose Lips Sink Ships

During World War II a common saying was, "Loose lips might sink ships."  The slogan was created during a campaign reminding people how important it was to mind what we say.  Our words could result in unintended and dire consequences.  Lives could be lost.

Very serious indeed.  "Loose lips sink ships."

For me, this slogan serves as a reminder about my word choices today.  Words have power, regardless of the children's rhyme...sticks and stones hurt, but we can use words to hurt ourselves or use them as the scaffolding of our thoughts and ideas and then as the bricks with which we build our lives.  Words shape our perception.

I often catch myself saying things like how "good" I was today because I exercised, or how "bad" I was because I hit the vending machine instead of the apple sitting on my desk.  Oh, I'll be "better" tomorrow!  Of course, this "always" happens...

I call this failspeak. It's so pervasive, it's amazing how often I use it.

But wait!  I have good news!  I'm aware that I'm using these words.  I know, it might not seem like much, but just being aware of the way I speak means I can change the words I use...change the power I wield.  Change my perception.

Abracadabra! Magic words.

Instead I can say I "chose" a different path today, or I "listened" to myself when I made this choice.  I can ask questions instead of make pronouncements about my choices: why did I do this today?  How did it make me feel?  How does doing that instead make me feel? Instead of a mother scolding a sulky and defeated child (also me!) I become the compassionate mother, enfolding the hurt and disappointed child in my arms (oh yes! much better!).  

Instead of fearing what I might become I love what I am. No forgiveness needed. No secular sin committed.

Divine Mother, take me in your loving arms and sooth my hurts so that I might see my true desires within my wounded heart.  Hold my hand and guide me over the rough stones that fall in my path.  Gently direct me toward loving self-forgiveness and clear sight. Amen.

Majeeda Rosa