What are you worth?

How do you judge your self-worth? From my dear friend Sheila:

What value do I have?  I’ve spent my entire life asking, "What's my self-worth?"  As a child I valued myself based on grades, number of friends, achievements, awards, recognition.  My self-worth came from what others thought of me.
 
As a young, married adult I determined my value as a person based on my husband’s opinion, my ability to complete a college degree, the job I was able to obtain.  My self-worth came from what others thought of me.
 
As the clock chimed and I faced my 30th birthday, I yet again found myself asking, "What am I worth?"  I based my worth on the career I had, the paycheck I earned, what people thought of me as a mother, what people – even those I would not want in my life - thought of me.  My self-worth came from what others thought of me.
 
Then it happened, I was laid-off.  After a decade in my job, I no longer had any value… any worth.  Without a job, I was not bringing money into the household….. I didn’t provide any value…any worth.  
 
Ah, but that’s where I was wrong.  I stopped, I slowed down, I took the time to look around.  My value was not gone – my worth had not changed.  I had simply misplaced it.  I found it – in the smile of my child, in the purr of my kitty cats, in the sloppy dog kisses from my beagle boys, in the strong hug of my husband.  My worth, my value is not based in dollars…in cents… in the opinion of others…. in awards… in accomplishments….but in spirit, in faith, in family.  My self-worth comes from me.
 
One of my favorite prayers by Reinhold Niebuhr:

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

~Sheila Mae~
 
 

Who ya gonna call...

For a moment, play make-believe with me. I'll paint some hypothetical scenarios:

Your face is pressed against the side of a cliff, arms stretched taught as your weight drags each fingertip further from the edge and your feet flail for purchase on a ledge that isn’t there…

Do you ask for help?

The clock is ticking away. The classroom is stifling. You stare at the exam thinking, thinking…not thinking at all because your mind has gone blank…

Do you ask for help?

You’re at the mall and the parking lot is packed. You tap your fingers against the steering wheel, waiting for a parking spot to open up. Damn, you chipped a nail!

Do you ask for help?

I wouldn’t call these scenarios equal in desperation by any means. I’m curious, is there a threshold at which you shouldn’t ask for higher assistance? Is God bothered, like a busy parent, if you tug at his shirt too often? Do the angels have assignments with strict rules and capacity? Are some requests more worthy than others?

Hmmm…there I go thinking like a human again!

I have no idea who or what God is. I try not to impose human limitations on this higher consciousness I don’t and can’t understand. I still form opinions, of course. In my book, God and Love are synonymous and without constraint. Do I believe in angels? Yes, although again, I don’t understand who/what they are or how it all works. Angels have appeared in my life as unseen spirit guides, moments of synchronicity, and in human form during times of crisis.

Here’s a not-so-big secret: I have a parking lot angel. My husband and I kid about it, “have you been good today?” I have inordinate (not perfect) luck with very good parking spots. If I’m cranky and uptight…doesn’t happen. If I’m open and receptive, expectant even, the spot will open up right where I desire. I just have to ask.

I always say thank you. Gratitude is everything.

Remember: Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Just because it’s a small request, doesn’t mean it’s not worthy.

Thank you for my parking spots. And thank you for not giving them to me every time.

Majeeda Rosa