Staking a claim

Can you believe it’s already Autumn?  I incorporated some healthier habits this summer.  I improved my choices in how I care for myself, physically and emotionally.  Some of them were big, like walking regularly, taking time to get a pedicure and realizing it’s OK to be angry when I feel anger!  Some of them were small, like taking vitamins, drinking a glass of water in the morning and not rushing or skipping out on doing small things for myself.

And then my intentions came crashing down.

Why?

I’m still figuring that out.  In a nutshell a few events happened last month.  Someone close to me treated me disrespectfully.  I was put into a position of cleaning up someone else’s mess due to their carelessness and lack of control.   Stressed out, physically and emotionally sick with it, I went into defensive mode and tried to bend myself in such a way that I could accommodate this new and alien environment and fix whatever I could fix.  All the new habits I acquired went out the window, not because I didn’t have time for them, but because…because…

And that’s what I’m trying to figure out.  I can see that I went back into old patterns of fixing and bending - I’m still figuring out how I should have handled that whole scenario – but why abandon the healthier habits?  I’m treading carefully as I explore this one; I know I’m on the right track because I’m very uncomfortable with what I’m writing:

Do I feel I need to deserve health?  If health and vitality are the goals, do I feel I need to earn them or is it my right to have them and sustain them?  Well, there’s logic….and then there’s the heart’s logic.  I'll keep saying this until I mean it:

Right now, right this second, I claim my right to health. 

Are there things you need to “earn” instead of claim?

Majeeda Rosa

Just Be