Shadow Court?
Everyone has a shadow side, that part of themselves that they don’t like or feel shameful about. Our shadows are made up of those emotions and actions that are considered unacceptable by our own judgment, whether influenced by our family or friends or society in general.
Some of these shadow selves are misjudged or misunderstood.
“Will speaking up please step forward? You there, what do you have to say for yourself? Nothing?” Speaking’s face burns as she mumbles something in the bailiff’s ear, eyes turned down. The bailiff says to the judge, “Speaking up is pushy and rude…not ladylike. She's been punished for it in the past.”
Ahhh…magic words, “in the past.” It’s amazing how much the past plays out in Shadow Court. When I go to Shadow Court (aka examining aspects of myself that cause me discomfort) I have to ask, is what I’m looking at REALLY what I’m looking at? Is this truly a villain? How long ago was this “definition” of the offending shadow aspect set? Does this definition serve me now? If it does then what’s a better way of demonstrating it?
Maybe there’s a bit of both good and bad here. For instance, speaking up can be aggressive or it can be assertive. What does it look like when it’s aggressive? What should it look like? How can it align with and support my values? How will I know I’m crossing the line?
The cross-examination continues...
The courtroom is packed tonight. I see arrogance sitting next to defensive, and insecure is waiting by the door. Interrupting keeps talking over conflict avoidance in the second row. Selfish and thoughtless don’t even realize the other is in attendance while judgment looks around with accusing eyes. Unmotivated laziness just said screw it and stayed home.
The docket is full, and tThe courtroom drama is thick tonight.
Lord, help me perceive what is real and what is not. Where shadows exist let me shine light so that all illusions are taken away. I want to grow in spirit and oneness.
Majeeda Rosa
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